Good for a laugh
vichammer09
Longwood, Florida | Man Seeking A Woman
Basic Information
I Can Speak
English
I Would Describe Myself As
After doing some research among my friends and other lovely ladies I've met. I've come to the realization that for years I've been doing it all wrong. So now that I know what you are looking for I've updated my profile.
I'm the kind of guy who will come over to your house drink your beer and watch sports while you cook dinner then take a short nap while you're cleaning up. I'd like to also borrow some money and your car so I can take out your hot girl friends. Should I strike out at the local bars on Friday or Saturday I'll give you a booty call about 2am. So now that you know I'm the kind of guy you are attracted to send pictures of your hot girl friends. Oh and at least one of your car, no mini vans need apply.
After reading some of your profiles I've noticed that many of you are requesting that the new man in you life brings no drama to your life. I firmly believe that as long as we are together there shouldn't be any drama between us. However I do expect you to be by my side giving full support while I'm on the Maury Povich show with the last woman I dated and her sister while they try to find out if their kids are brother and sister or cousins.
I'll be updating my pictures as soon as I can find a public restroom where I can take a selfie with the urinals clearly in the background.
If you don't find this funny we probably won't hit it off. However if you do find it funny or you're tired of dating the guy described above give me a shout and we'll go from there.
First Date
You have a cook out and invite all your hot friends over so I can get their numbers that way I won't have to bother you when I want to call them up. What did you think I was going to say candle light dinner, drinks followed by a long walk on the beach. Let's first get past the awkwardness of meeting.
Ok so some of you don't want to cook on the first date, so let's go to the bar and drink tequila shots that way I get funnier and we both get better looking.
I’m really good at:
There's not too many things I can't fix including your broken heart and your faith in men.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and foodedit essay
Love most all music with a few exceptions, generally classic rock, southern rock, and blues. As far as food goes I'm the "Eat to live not Live to eat type person"
The six things I could never do without:
Your Money
Your Car
Your Beer
Your Credit
Your Home
Your Time
Your Sense of Humor :)
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
You !
On a typical Friday night I am:
I work from home so on a Friday you will find me out at a local dive listening to live music.
You should message me if:
1. If your family reunions aren't held at the Bail Bondman's.
2. All your past relationships didn't end with a restraining order.
3. You know the difference between PDA and a lap dance as well as when each is appropriate.
4. You are breathtaking (meaning you stop to take breath and don't talk non-stop).
5. You are age appropriate.
I'm the kind of guy who will come over to your house drink your beer and watch sports while you cook dinner then take a short nap while you're cleaning up. I'd like to also borrow some money and your car so I can take out your hot girl friends. Should I strike out at the local bars on Friday or Saturday I'll give you a booty call about 2am. So now that you know I'm the kind of guy you are attracted to send pictures of your hot girl friends. Oh and at least one of your car, no mini vans need apply.
After reading some of your profiles I've noticed that many of you are requesting that the new man in you life brings no drama to your life. I firmly believe that as long as we are together there shouldn't be any drama between us. However I do expect you to be by my side giving full support while I'm on the Maury Povich show with the last woman I dated and her sister while they try to find out if their kids are brother and sister or cousins.
I'll be updating my pictures as soon as I can find a public restroom where I can take a selfie with the urinals clearly in the background.
If you don't find this funny we probably won't hit it off. However if you do find it funny or you're tired of dating the guy described above give me a shout and we'll go from there.
First Date
You have a cook out and invite all your hot friends over so I can get their numbers that way I won't have to bother you when I want to call them up. What did you think I was going to say candle light dinner, drinks followed by a long walk on the beach. Let's first get past the awkwardness of meeting.
Ok so some of you don't want to cook on the first date, so let's go to the bar and drink tequila shots that way I get funnier and we both get better looking.
I’m really good at:
There's not too many things I can't fix including your broken heart and your faith in men.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and foodedit essay
Love most all music with a few exceptions, generally classic rock, southern rock, and blues. As far as food goes I'm the "Eat to live not Live to eat type person"
The six things I could never do without:
Your Money
Your Car
Your Beer
Your Credit
Your Home
Your Time
Your Sense of Humor :)
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
You !
On a typical Friday night I am:
I work from home so on a Friday you will find me out at a local dive listening to live music.
You should message me if:
1. If your family reunions aren't held at the Bail Bondman's.
2. All your past relationships didn't end with a restraining order.
3. You know the difference between PDA and a lap dance as well as when each is appropriate.
4. You are breathtaking (meaning you stop to take breath and don't talk non-stop).
5. You are age appropriate.
Sign
Pisces
Appearance & Situation
My Body Type Is
Average
My Height Is
5' 5 (1.65 m)
My Eyes Are
Blue
My Ethnicity Is
Caucasian
My Marital Situation Is
Divorced
I Have Kids
Yes - Not At Home
I Want Kids
No
My Hair Is
Salt And Pepper
I Have One Or More Of These
Dog
How I Like To Ride
What are you looking for on the site?
Some Romance
Are you part of a biker club?
No
Is biking a hobby or a way of life?
Hobby
Is your bike your main source of transportation?
No
Do you prefer riding leather or plain clothes?
Plain Clothes
What is your favorite place or road to ride?
The Loop
What's your favorite biker event to attend?
Love Daytona bike week and Biketober Fest.
Status
My Education Level Is
Some College
My Current Employment Status Is
Full-time
My Speciality Is
Computers / Electronic
I Live
With Pet(s)
At Home
All Is Calm
I'm A Smoker
No
I Drink
Yes - Socially
Personality
Back In High School, I Was A
Cool Dude
My Social Behavior Is
Reserved
My Interest And Hobbies Are
Religion / Spirituality, Family, Exercising, Music, Dancing, Travel, Cars, Fishing / Hunting, Computers
My Idea Of A Great Time Is
Hanging Out With Friends, Trying New Things, Going To A Concert
My Friends Describe Me As Being
Friendly, Cool
Views
My Religion Is
Catholic
I Attend Services
Once A Week
My Political Views Are
Conservative
My Goal In Life Is
Is to spend time with my family and friends whenever possible while enjoying the most out my time left in this world and knowing that when I meet my maker I will have nothing to fear.
My Kind Of Humor Is
Clever, Dry / Sarcastic
Taste
On Tv, I Always Watch
Cartoons, Dramas, Situation Comedies, Instructional, Movies, Sports, Re-runs
When I Go To The Movies, I Always Go To See A
Action, Comedy
When Listening To Music, I Always Listen To
Country, Rock, Metal, Blues, Jazz
When I Read, I Always Read
News, Computers, Health, Instructional, Reference, Religious, Technical
My Idea Of Fun Is
Is taking an early morning ride while the air is at it's freshest. Listening to live music at a local bar and watching the people there.
Looking for
What Do You Find Attractive?
Wit, Flirtatiousness, Humor, Good Looks, Intelligence
What Do You Look For?
I always notice a women's hair before anything else followed by her eyes and smile.
What Kind Of Relationship Are You Seeking?
Friend, Date, Committed